that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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