Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
