its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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