redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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