Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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