So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
