Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
