So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
