whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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