So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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