the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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