We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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