If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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