I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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