Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's the barista slut.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
