Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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