i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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