hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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