Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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