I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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