Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
