We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
