Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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