North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
