I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
