If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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