you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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