Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
