i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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