Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
