Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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