5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
