giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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