it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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