My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
