You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
