final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I will pee on everything he values.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
