just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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