I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
