Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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