my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
