When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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