you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
