She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize