Moan for me like Helen Keller
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
