Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The air taste purple.
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