I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
