Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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