its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
