Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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