happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
