this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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