I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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