yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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