Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
