I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
