I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
