The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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