my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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