If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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