I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I still have a little drunk in my system
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
