i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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