yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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