She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
