i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
