chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
