I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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