Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
