Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
