In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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