Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
